Light

I need some light. The darkness seems to be settling in, pushing out even the shadows.

What good is any of this? How is this helping anyone? In many ways I just want it to be over. To be done with all of this. To have a nice, normal family. Maybe I heard the calling wrong. Maybe just donations would be good enough. Most Christians seem content to live that way. Maybe I can just ignore the scriptures that speak of helping orphans-just read over then or skip them completely. Or twist them so that they're metaphorical, it doesn't really mean to take in orphans!

Does this count as suffering for the sake of Christ? I'm not sure. He's the only reason I'm still hanging on though. If I weren't fully convinced it was right, I'd have given up already. Maybe pushing through will earn me a jewel or two in Heaven-that I can graciously lay at His feet. I'd hate to give up now and be empty handed when I finally go home.

I long for Heaven. Daily I pray that He returns. Please come take me today Lord. I hate this place, I want to be home.